Yep, Judy and I have gotten both COVID vaccine shots. Just as soon as we get the energy after working all week, we’re going out to eat, maybe more than once. I’m sick of cooking. Judy is sick of cooking. The refrigerator is packed with survival rations. The freezer is full and the wine bottles are empty.
What a year. We have been blessed not to catch the virus. Just about an hour ago (Monday) I received word a good friend had passed away from COVID. He had been on a ventilator for over a week. We know many people who have had it and are hearing about more each day. All of us have been touched by this pandemic.
I promised I would not find any more pandemic associated ‘thoughts’ for the day but many readers have let me know they enjoy the humor to maybe take their minds off the negative. Here go some more.
• My boyfriend got his covid vaccine yesterday and I can tell you the most prominent side effect is his inability to shut up about getting the covid vaccine!
• Social Distancing: I looked into her eyes, deep into the emerald green, my heart fluttered, I felt a connection, something deeper, something magical, I was transported to another place and I thought, blimey these binoculars are brilliant.
• This is why Germans don’t play Scrabble: This is an actual word with 79 letters and is listed in the Guinness book of records.
(Donaudampfschiffahrtselektrizitatenhauptbetriebswerkbaunterbeamengesellschaft)
Its meaning is the Association for subordinate officials of the head office management of the Danube steamboat electrical services. (Teachers, put that on a sixth grade spelling test for extra credit)
• Got up at 5 a.m., 8.5km run completed, came back, prepared a vegetable smoothie for breakfast…Don’t remember the rest of the dream.
• Diet Day 1: I removed all the bad food from the house. It was delicious.
• My therapist set half a glass of water in front of me. He asked if I was an optimist or a pessimist. So, I drank the water and told him I was a problem solver.
• Did you know that 14 muscles are activated when opening a bottle of wine? Fitness is my passion.• I love to make lists. I also like to leave them on the kitchen counter and then guess what’s on the list while at the store.
• Sometimes I wonder if all this is happening because I didn’t forward that email to 10 people.
• No physical appearance is worth not eating pasta for.
• It’s 2021, don’t let anyone waste your time.
• A sign outside a restaurant: Would you like to know how it feels to be in hospitality during this CORONA-virus pandemic? Remember when the Titanic was sinking and the band continued to play? We are the band!
• In eight to nine months there will be a bunch of new babies coming along…this age group will be known as the CORONIALS!
• I have finally discovered what’s wrong with my brain: On the left side, there is nothing right, and on the right side there is nothing left…
• There is no “we” in fries.
• Some of y’all still have spaghetti sauce stuck in your microwave since 1996 and you’re in a store acting like a fool over Lysol.
• An epidemiologist, an ICU doctor and a scientist walk into a bar…Just kidding, they know better.
• A young lady says, “Finding out that one of the first signs of COVID-19 is a lack of taste. Looking back at some point of my past choices in men, I think I had the Corona.”
• Glad this happened in 2020 and not 1991, because the last thing anyone needs is Blockbuster late fees.
• Because of COVID I heard a rumor that government is putting chips inside of people. I hope I get Doritos.
• I need to social distance from the refrigerator so I can flatten the curve.
• And in the end, mankind used so much toilet paper they wiped themselves out.
• Seen on a health department sign. “COVID testing in the rear.” And I thought it was a nasal swab.
• Home isolation has its ups and downs. One day you are flying high and cleaning the baseboards with a Q-tip, and the next day you’re drinking tequila and watching squirrels out the window. There’s no in between.
• Some days I amaze myself. Other days I put the laundry in the oven.
