My friend was in the dog house this past week for mistakenly carrying the wrong dish, a delicious carrot cake, to a party that was meant for another party the next evening. His wife had worked tirelessly making the cake the whole day. He was just trying to help.
He sent me a funny internet video of what happens to men when they are assigned to the lowly “dog house.” We’ve all been there before, some of us many times, others just once or twice.
This could be a warning for buying the perfect Mother’s Day present for your spouse or girlfriend this year and making sure to say the right thing.
The man in the video had just purchased a gift for his wife. He presented it to her nicely wrapped. As she opened it her expression became more irritated. Her husband had purchased a new upright vacuum cleaner for her Mother’s Day present.
He said, “Honey, it even has a dual bag.”
He was quickly taken to the backyard and made to crawl into the dog house which had a trapdoor dropping him underground. On his arrival he found himself with other men with blank stares folding clothes in a dungeon-like hall.
“Where am I,” he asked?
A sharply dressed man said, “You’re the new arrival. You’re in the dog house.”
“But I don’t belong here,” he said.
“None of us belong here. We’re in the dog house for buying thoughtless gifts or saying the wrong thing,” he explained. Other shabby men asked how he had gotten there.
“I bought her an upright vacuum cleaner,”
“Ooh, that’s bad,” the dog house group bellowed.
“But it had a dual bag,” he exclaimed.
“Ooh, you’re a fool ‘Dual Bag,’” came the response in unison.
The well dressed man explained to ‘Dual Bag’ that all these men had made bad gift ideas or had said something wrong to their wives.
“That guy over there bought his wife more ram memory for her computer. He told her ‘thanks for the memories.’ Sam here bought his wife a mustache waxer. He’ll never get out,” he said.
Another man yelled, “I told my wife staying home with the kids was not work.”
A huge guy said, “All I did was tell my wife her mom looked really hot in a bikini. I was only paying a compliment.”
‘Dual Bag’ asked his new friend how he got here, “I bought her an Ab-erciser. I told her a little more exercise and a little less cake would make her look better.”
“How can I get out of here,” ‘Dual Bag’ asked?
“Donnie is the only one who has gotten out. Here’s a picture of him and his wife he sent us,” the friend said.
The photo was of Donnie and his smiling wife. Around her neck was a new diamond necklace.
My dog house remembrance happened early in our marriage. I had just purchased the perfect gift for Judy on her birthday from Wilson Pharmacy back in ‘69 when they were located on Walnut St.
I thought I would make it a special treat and put little notes around the house for her to look at the next hiding place where I placed another note telling her to look somewhere else. Finally, the last note told her to look inside the oven.
There on the second rack was a beautiful wooden chopping block, a very romantic gift, I thought.
Since our dog lived in the house with us, I was only banished to the make-believe dog house.
But, men, there really is one. Be very careful this Mother’s Day.