When do you discover it’s time to hire someone to do your yardwork and outdoor chores that in the past were a piece of cake? At my age, I’m thinking it’s now.
A number of years ago it was common to put in four or five hours trimming bushes, cutting down poplar trees that sprout overnight, pulling weeds and general yard work. At my age, it’s harder and harder to do. No stamina. Exhaustion is the norm these days.
I pulled a fast one on my doc a few months ago. Our beautiful backyard flowering plum tree split in half during a rain and wind storm. I chain sawed it into smaller pieces. The other half was still standing. Jeff, my son, brought over his truck to drag up the heavy pieces to the front yard for pick up.
My doctor who lives down the street drives by a couple of times daily. When I visited him for my semi-annual checkup I asked if he had seen that huge tree I had dragged up the hill trying to impress him with my energy and strength. I don’t think he bought that malarkey. At my age he could have guessed I would be face down in the yard.
A few weeks ago when we got a strong wind storm, the remainder of the tree fell. It was the largest side with heavier limbs and a larger stump. I managed to chain saw it into smaller pieces for easier removal. At my age, that work was exhausting. It was all I could do to get back into my easy chair. Using the TV remote was even hard.
This past Sunday Jeff again brought over his truck to drag the last pieces of the dead tree up to the street with a rope. Right in the middle of the labor my doc drove by emphasizing my lack of truth. Laughing he exclaimed, “I thought you told me you drug that tree up by yourself….!” At my age, that would have been impossible.
And on Saturday I decided to clean my grill. The Weber Spirit was in need of some TLC. The grills will last a lifetime if you give them a little love. I scraped the old crusty leftovers from grilled pork, steak, hamburger and my favorite, chicken drummies. At my age, after a couple of hours in the hot sun, I was again getting tired. I decided to finish the next day before Jeff came over to drag up the old tree. It was all I could do to get into my easy chair and this is no joke. I watched the World Rock Skipping Championships, five-year old golf tournaments, classic baseball games. Rock skipping is a sport?
At my age, getting those two chores finished I suppose is pretty good. Next chores are re-staining the deck and cleaning out the garage. At my age I‘m going to put a month each into those projects. I get tired thinking about it.
Thoughts on Aging:
At the bar the other night – An elderly looking gentleman, (mid-nineties) very well dressed, hair well groomed, great looking suit, flower in his lapel, smelling slightly of a good after shave, presenting a well-looked-after image, walks into an upscale cocktail lounge.
Seated at the bar is an elderly looking lady.
The gentleman walks over, sits alongside her, orders a drink, takes a sip, turns to her and says, “So tell me, do I come here often?”
The intellectuals – Two retired professors were vacationing with their wives at a hotel in the Catskills. They were sitting on the veranda one summer evening, watching the sunset.
The history professor asked the psychology professor, “Have you read Marx?”
To which the professor of psychology replied, “Yes and I think it’s these damned wicker chairs.”
Reporters interviewing a 104-year-old woman – ‘And what do you think is the best thing about being 104?’ the reporter asked.
She simply replied, ‘No peer pressure.’
Two old men in a retirement village were sitting in the reading room and one said to the other, ‘How do you really feel? I mean, you’re 72 years old, how do you honestly feel?’
‘Honestly, I feel like a newborn baby. I’ve got no hair, no teeth, and I just wet myself.’
Three old guys are out walking… First one says,
‘Windy, isn’t it?’ Second one says, ‘No, it’s Thursday!’
Third one says, ‘So am I. Let’s go get a beer.’
As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his car phone rang. Answering, he heard his wife’s voice urgently warning him,
“Herman, I just heard on the news that there’s a car going the wrong way on Interstate 77. Please be careful!”
”Heck”, said Herman, “It’s not just one car. It’s hundreds of them!”