At my age I am not sure what to label myself today. It has been fairly easy in the past. Today, I’m an in-betweener of something.
Let’s see. First, I was a fetus (unborn), then an infant, toddler, kid, teenager-juvenile delinquent, student, then young adult, adult, followed by middle age and now I have arrived at some timeless foreign place that when we arrive we can’t do a dad burn thing about it. Maybe a super-sized middle age group or “just lucky to be here group.” Humans label everything including ourselves. The media has a field day in labeling people.
Here are a few names that may define “elderly:” See where you fit.
Geezer – a negative elderly person, usually male.
Codger – same as above but with a sense of humor.
Crone – a negative elderly person, usually female with power.
Patriarch – old man with long hair who did something important once.
Old-timer – a fun old guy who whittles.
Old fogey – a negative description by a young person.
Funtimers – old hippies who still smoke pot.
Old girl – an older single lady who still has a sense of humor.
Silver hairs or blue hairs – male or female left-lane interstate drivers.
Elderberries – old folks who still enjoy eating after 4 p.m.
Old goat – usually refers to a man who has lost his sense of humor.
Bed blockers – really oldsters who are in great health.
Crinklies – most of us past age 55.
Plaza pilgrims – old timers who enjoy sitting in malls looking for old girls.
Biddy – usually a woman with an opinion opposite of everyone else.
Golden-ager – an older person who has moved to Florida.
Old bag – usually a woman who hangs out with a Biddy.
Old Bat – same as above but with an attitude.
Seasoned citizens – older folks still involved with city government.
Colonel Blimp – a retired military man who doesn’t qualify as patriarch.
Elders – anyone past age 60 who uses the words “honey” and “dear”.
As older folks we can also be described as being: spry, perky, chipper, feisty, or sweet. But be careful when someone describes you as being feisty as they may really mean you are a “geezer” or “codger.”
In any case, we are over the hill, long in the tooth, past it, past our prime, teetering, classic, or even superannuated.
I kinda like being called a “spry classic.” Has a nice ring and I can still play Rock ‘n Roll.
