The final frontier is only a space shot away…


Compiled by Bill Derby

Last evening I was watching a short excerpt of the TV series, ‘Mars.’ I haven’t gotten into the show since I’m still stuck on ‘American Pickers.’ It might be a good show but seemed like a Martian soap opera with sexy girl astronauts and handsome men.

I do miss watching our space shuttle take offs and America’s space program. Maybe it will get back on track. In the meantime I found these interesting and sometimes funny quotes on ‘space’ in which we live. It’s relative.

•  As I hurtled through space, one thought kept crossing my mind – every part of this rocket was supplied by the lowest bidder.  – John Glenn

•  Intelligent Life? – Two aliens out in space were looking down on our planet. The first alien said, “It seems the dominant life-forms on Earth have developed satellite-based weapons.”

The second alien asked, “Are they an emerging intelligence?”

“I don’t think so,” the first responded. “They have the weapons aimed at themselves.”

•  For NASA, space is still a high priority.  – Dan Quayle

•  You take more pictures of your baby than NASA does of Mars.  – Unknown

•  My husband said he needed more space. So I locked him outside.

Roseanne Barr

•  Space is almost infinite. As a matter of fact, we think it is infinite.

Dan Quayle

•  Oh my God! Space aliens! Don’t eat me! I have a wife and kids. Eat them!

Homer Simpson

•  If women can be railroad workers in Russia, why can’t they fly in space?

Valentina Tereshkova

•  If NASA really wants to find water on Mars, they should just send me there to hit a golf ball.

Gene Jaster

•  I am the astronaut of boxing. Joe Louis and Jack Dempsey were just jet pilots. I’m in a world of my own.  – Muhammad Ali

•  Oh my. Space travel sounds rather perilous. I can assure you they will never get me on one of those dreadful Star Ships.  – C-3PO

•  In most homes, the father is concerned with parking space, the children with outer space, and the mother with closet space.  – Evan Esar

•  NASA scientists have been studying giraffe skin so they can apply what they learn from it to the construction of spacesuits.  – Joanna Lumley

•  If NASA has a 14-minute delay for an event 155,000,000 miles away, how come NBC has a six-hour delay for an event 3,500 miles away?


•  The world, the race, the soul – in space and time the universes,

All bound as is befitting each – all surely going somewhere.

Walt Whitman

•  NASA’s robot Curiosity landed on Mars. Early pictures show no signs of ESPN or beer. This makes it very clear that men are not from Mars. – Unknown

•  Whenever you are embarrassed, just remember that in 1999 NASA destroyed a $655 Million project because the engineers mistook kilograms and pounds. – Unknown

•  Can we actually “know” the universe? My God, it’s hard enough finding your way around in Chinatown. – Woody Allen

•  Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity. And I’m not sure about the former. – Albert Einstein

•  Tell a man that there are 400 billion stars and he’ll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint and he has to touch it. – Steven Wright

•  The scientific theory I like best is that the rings of Saturn are composed entirely of lost airline luggage. – Mark Russell


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