Compiled by Bill Derby
Last evening I was watching a short excerpt of the TV series, ‘Mars.’ I haven’t gotten into the show since I’m still stuck on ‘American Pickers.’ It might be a good show but seemed like a Martian soap opera with sexy girl astronauts and handsome men.
I do miss watching our space shuttle take offs and America’s space program. Maybe it will get back on track. In the meantime I found these interesting and sometimes funny quotes on ‘space’ in which we live. It’s relative.
• As I hurtled through space, one thought kept crossing my mind – every part of this rocket was supplied by the lowest bidder. – John Glenn
• Intelligent Life? – Two aliens out in space were looking down on our planet. The first alien said, “It seems the dominant life-forms on Earth have developed satellite-based weapons.”
The second alien asked, “Are they an emerging intelligence?”
“I don’t think so,” the first responded. “They have the weapons aimed at themselves.”
• For NASA, space is still a high priority. – Dan Quayle
• You take more pictures of your baby than NASA does of Mars. – Unknown
• My husband said he needed more space. So I locked him outside.
– Roseanne Barr
• Space is almost infinite. As a matter of fact, we think it is infinite.
– Dan Quayle
• Oh my God! Space aliens! Don’t eat me! I have a wife and kids. Eat them!
– Homer Simpson
• If women can be railroad workers in Russia, why can’t they fly in space?
– Valentina Tereshkova
• If NASA really wants to find water on Mars, they should just send me there to hit a golf ball.
– Gene Jaster
• I am the astronaut of boxing. Joe Louis and Jack Dempsey were just jet pilots. I’m in a world of my own. – Muhammad Ali
• Oh my. Space travel sounds rather perilous. I can assure you they will never get me on one of those dreadful Star Ships. – C-3PO
• In most homes, the father is concerned with parking space, the children with outer space, and the mother with closet space. – Evan Esar
• NASA scientists have been studying giraffe skin so they can apply what they learn from it to the construction of spacesuits. – Joanna Lumley
• If NASA has a 14-minute delay for an event 155,000,000 miles away, how come NBC has a six-hour delay for an event 3,500 miles away?
• The world, the race, the soul – in space and time the universes,
All bound as is befitting each – all surely going somewhere.
– Walt Whitman
• NASA’s robot Curiosity landed on Mars. Early pictures show no signs of ESPN or beer. This makes it very clear that men are not from Mars. – Unknown
• Whenever you are embarrassed, just remember that in 1999 NASA destroyed a $655 Million project because the engineers mistook kilograms and pounds. – Unknown
• Can we actually “know” the universe? My God, it’s hard enough finding your way around in Chinatown. – Woody Allen
• Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity. And I’m not sure about the former. – Albert Einstein
• Tell a man that there are 400 billion stars and he’ll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint and he has to touch it. – Steven Wright
• The scientific theory I like best is that the rings of Saturn are composed entirely of lost airline luggage. – Mark Russell