Compiled by Bill Derby
Mom always wrote wonderful excuses when I missed school, which was often.
Once I hid in the basement not wanting to go to 3rd grade reading class. My teacher was a redhead, had a temper and we were having a test. Mom finally found me after searching every room in the house. I faked a stomach ache. She didn’t buy it. Off I went.
Usually she only wrote. “Please excuse Bill from missing class yesterday as he was sick,”–nothing more.
I found these funny school excuses listed below. They are actually written by mothers. I bet some were written by fellow hooky players.
School Excuses – Please excuse my child from school today…
[These are real notes written by parents. Spellings and grammar have been left intact…]
1. My son is under a doctor’s care and should not take PE today. Please execute him.
2. Please excuse Lisa for being absent she was sick and I had her shot.
3. Dear school: please excuse john being absent on Jan. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32 and also 33.
4. Please excuse Roland from p.e. for a few days. Yesterday he fell out of a tree and misplaced his hip.
5. John has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his face.
6. Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football. He was hurt in the growing part.
7. Megan could not come to school today because she has been bothered by very close veins.
8. Chris will not be in school cus he has an acre in his side.
9. Please excuse Ray Friday from school. He has very loose vowels.
10. Please excuse Leslie from being absent yesterday. She had diahre dyrea direathe.
11. Please excuse Tommy for being absent yesterday. He had diarrhea, and his boots leak.
12. Irving was absent yesterday because he missed his bust.
13. Please excuse Jimmy for being. It was his father’s fault.
14. I kept Billie home because she had to go Christmas shopping because I don’t know what size she wears.
15. Please excuse Jennifer for missing school yesterday. We forgot to get the Sunday paper off the porch, and when we found it Monday we thought it was Sunday.