College students mangle American & French Revolution history


Compiled By Bill Derby

I love history and took just about every history class offered at ETSU with double minors in history and speech. I have always believed that history is our future.

My suggestion for the students who faked their way through these test answers below is they should never run for any political office. Pay attention in class kids!

• Along came a man named Robisieu Thermidorean who saved the people. The revolution evolved through monarchial, republican, and tolarian phases until Napolean performed a coo in 1799. Napoleon was ill with bladder problems and was very tense and unrestrained. As his power leaked away his body became a symbol. He was later troubled by Spanish gorillas, who formed a sore in his side.

• Americans, of course, wanted no involvement in the French and Indian War because they did not want to fight in India. This led to the Stamp Act, where no stamps could be issued unless they bore the American mascot.

• Another final straw in the camel’s pack was when Britan tried to bar colonists from crossing the Appelation Mountains. Many Colonists became convicted patriots after reading Horse Sense by the escaped Englishman Thomas Pain.

• Another problem was that France was full of French people. Dickens made this point in The Tail of Two Sisters, which he required us to read.

• France was in a very serious state. Taxation was a great drain on the state budget.

• Napoleon fertilized all his life. His only son died by a sphere.

• Revolters demanded liberty, equality and fraternities. Fraternity breeded pride in the nation and therefore thicker political boundaries. Victims of the terror were rolled to the gilotine in tumblers, an unpleasant thing for all involved. Many of these unfortunate people became known as Emma Grays.

• Tea formed a large surplice. The Boston Tea Party was held at Pearl Harbor. The Quebec Act was an Intolerable Act because it would have required Americans to learn French in school.

• The American colonists lived on a continent and England was an island. Thus the Americans wanted independence.

• The Americans had to mustard an army. Benjamin Franklin, already famous as inventor of the light bulb, persuaded French King George III to help the USA. The use of Haitian troups by the British violated the rites of Englishmen everywhere.

• The British defeated the French from 1793 to 1815, but at gastronomic cost.

• The French Revolution was like a tractor. It gave people the understanding that you need change in order to make tracks in the world. The Third Estate was locked out of its motel and had to do its business on a tennis court. This led to the Tennis Court Oath. This act of small deviance was the fuse that led to the explosion that blew up the government.

• Yorktown was sight of Robert E. Lee’s greatest victory. Washington defeated the Allies at Gettysberg. He was the first and only president to be elected anonymously by the Electoral College. Thomas Jefferson was president, founder of the University of Virginia, and author of the Decoration of Independence.


About Author

Comments are closed.