Compiled by Bill Derby
Once upon a time there was a newspaper person whose job it was to write all the headlines in the newspaper. That’s all they did. It’s a known fact that most newspaper copy errors occur within a news headline as evidence below.
• A man shot, stabbed; death by natural causes ruled.
• After 24-48 hours’ filtration, the pool becomes so clear that when the water is calm you can read ‘head’ or ‘tails’ on a dime lying 8 feet below the surface.
• At the tea party, Mrs. Smyth and Mrs. Jarvis poured at both ends.
• Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures.
• Eaton’s ad for brassieres: “In the event these best sellers are gone, we’ll provide a rain check.”
• Fire officials grilled over kerosene heaters.
• For Sale: Registered Jersey cow, giving three gallons of milk, two tons of hay, a number of chickens and a cook stove.
• Half of U.S. High Schools Require Some Study for Graduation.
• He is the President of the Southwestern Irritated Cotton Growers.
• He remarked in all seriousness that it was hereditary in his family to have no children.
• He returned to his duties Monday after several weeks’ absence due to his death.
• Hospitals are sued by 7 Foot Doctors.
• If Strike Isn’t Settled Quickly, It Could Last Awhile.
• If the baby does not thrive on fresh milk, it should be boiled.
• If you use lemon juice, squeeze it from fresh oranges.
• In the kitchen, she put on water for a few sandwiches.
• Iraqi head seeks arms.
• Is There a Ring of Debris Around Uranus? (Astronomy magazine)
• John Redekop was arrested Saturday by Police on a charge of drinking while intoxicated.
• Just before the court sentence, Mr. Williams was asked if he had anything to say. In a calm voice, and without the least sign of emotion, he said nothing.
• Kids Make Nutritious Snacks.
• Lawyers Give Poor Free Legal Advice.
• Legislators tax brains to cut deficit.
• Lettuce won’t turn brown if you put your head in a plastic bag before placing it in the refrigerator.
• Local high school drop-outs cut in half.
• Man minus ear waives hearing.
• Man struck by lightning faces battery charges.
• Milk cow now sold in public eating places must be in the original containers.
• Miners Refuse to Work After Death.
• Miss Charlene Patinson, who was injured by a fall from a horse last week, is in St. Joseph’s Hospital and is covered sufficiently to have her friends come to see her.
• Miss Penneway is in hospital this morning, after having been bitten by a spider in a bathing suit.
• Mr. & Mrs. Ron Kroeker have returned from a week’s fighting trip in Wisconsin.
• New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group.
• Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over.
• Police begin campaign to run down jaywalkers.
• Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges.
• Served with a writ yesterday afternoon, Mr. Thompson must produce children in court within 24 hours.
• Ski areas closed due to snow.
• Small boat for sale by widow – with a wide bottom.
• Someone raised the question of adherence to civil air regulations which limit the flight time of pilots and crows to eight hours a day.
• Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says.
• Squad helps dog bite victim.
• Stud tires out.
• Teacher Strikes Idle Kids.
• The bride-elect was showered with pieces of her chosen china.
• The Chief is inclined to believe that a crossed wife might be the cause of the fire.
• The foursome took in a number of shows and enjoyed the gal life of the city.
• Using this new paste, women with copper bottoms will no longer have any trouble keeping them shining like new.
• The calls started at noon Saturday night.
• The game began promptly 45 minutes late.
• The union is seeking a 10% wage increase, plus improved benefits and double time for any day in which the workers work.
• Then the officers closed in. Johnson was wounded in one hip. A stray bullet killed one bystander slightly.
• Utah girl does well in dog shows.
• Wanted: Human cannonball – must be able to travel.
• General housekeeping duties. Must be capable of contributing to growth of family.
• Weather Forecast: Colder tonight, heavy frost if clear. Saturday fair, probably followed by Sunday.
• When the baby is done drinking, it should be unscrewed and laid in a cool place under a tap.
• Women’s Movement Called More Broad-Based.
