I’m not the best at buying presents, just ask Judy. I make up for it though with my romantic mumblings. But, on this special day I had to step up to the plate. It was our 50th wedding anniversary a couple of weeks ago. In an effort to stay in the game, be on board, out of the doghouse, in good graces, and more, I had better buy her a decent anniversary gift. I managed to come through on this special occasion saving up for a nice trip to Florida and a useful girl gift. Fifty years go by quickly and one year both of us forgot our anniversary entirely until one of our friends told us “Happy Anniversary” a few days later. We both laughed at our forgetfulness.
Who in the world invented giving presents for wedding anniversaries? I found that…”Historians say that giving distinct gifts at milestone anniversaries originated in the Germanic regions of Central Europe in medieval times. The wife would receive a silver wreath from her husband on the 25th wedding anniversary. Silver symbolized harmony. If the couple survived to celebrate their 50th wedding anniversary, the wife would receive a wreath of gold.”
So, there it is. Way back in the Dark Ages some gals got together and came up with these silver/gold anniversary gifts. Men have been left out of goodies on this special day. I’ve never known a man to get a decent present for his anniversary gift. A dozen golf balls, new fishing rod, new shotgun or even a clean tee shirt would be nice.
Since I had pre-gifted my bride a few weeks earlier, on our actual anniversary day, instead of a box of candy, can of beer nuts or teddy bear I found this wonderful prose of true love to share with my sweetie.
A Love Poem by Bubba Gump
Collards is green
my dog’s name is Blue
and I’m so lucky
to have a sweet thang like you.
Yore hair is like cornsilk
a-flapping in the breeze
Softer than Blue’s
and without all them fleas.
You move like the bass,
which excite me in May.
You ain’t got no scales
but I luv you anyway.
Yo’re as satisfy’n as okry
jist a-fry’n in the pan.
Yo’re as fragrant as “snuff”
right out of the can.
You have som’a yore teeth,
for which I am proud;
I hold my head high
when we’re in a crowd.
On special occasions,
when you shave under yore arms,
well, I’m in hawg heaven,
and awed by yore charms.
Still them fellers at work,
they all want to know,
what I did to deserve
such a purdy, young doe.
Like a good roll of duct tape
yo’re there fer yore man,
to patch up life’s troubles
and fix what you can.
Yo’re as cute as a junebug
a-buzzin’ overhead.
You ain’t mean like those far ants
I found in my bed.
Cut from the best cloth
like a plaid flannel shirt,
you spark up my life
more than a fresh load of dirt.
When you hold me real tight
like a padded gunrack,
my life is complete;
Ain’t nuttin’ I lack.
Yore complexion, it’s perfection,
like the best vinyl sidin’.
despite all the years,
yore age, it keeps hidin’.
Me ‘n’ you’s like a Moon Pie
with a RC cold drank,
we go together
like a skunk goes with stank.
Some men, they buy chocolate
for Anniversary Day;
They git it at Walmart,
it’s romantic that way.
Some men buy fine diamonds
from a flea market booth.
“Diamonds are forever,”
they explain, suave and couth.
But for this man, honey,
these won’t do.
Cause yo’re too special,
you sweet thang you.
I got you a gift,
without taste nor odor,
more useful than diamonds…
IT’S A NEW TROLLIN’ MOTOR!!!
