“If that don’t light your fire, your wood is wet!”


Complied by Bill Derby

Our pastor, Rev. Gerald Casson, shared that response after one of our Lay Speakers, Shauna Crowe, presented her sermon last Sunday. Gerald’s a good ole’ southern boy and I’m sure full of ‘Southernisms.’ I had never heard that expression before.

Last week was fun for mathematicians. Everyone should remember this bit of math trivia from your geometry class, or was that history class? I found it interesting especially when I cut our cherry pie for dessert last Sunday dinner. I was thinking about pie the food, not Pi the math.

Last week was an important date, time and event for mathematicians, March 14, 2015 – 9:26:53. 3.141592653= Pi (π) It was Pi Day and won’t come around for a month of Sundays.

Definition: “Pi is a number – approximately 3.142. It is the circumference of any circle divided by its diameter. The number Pi, denoted by the Greek letter (π) – pronounced ‘pie’, is one of the most common constants in all of mathematics. It is the circumference of any circle, divided by its diameter. Nobody knows its exact value, because no matter how many digits you calculate it to, the number never ends. For most practical uses, you can assume it is 3.142. Some people have written computer programs and calculated it to an astonishing accuracy.” Here is a web site that has it to 200 million digits: www.angio.net/pi/piquery

So, the next time you cut straight halfway across a cherry pie, please understand the circumference (the round outside edge) divided by that straight cut distance when divided by that distance is 3.142. And that’s Pi. Doesn’t matter, it could be a Pizza Pie, Coconut Pie or even a Mincemeat Pie and every time you take a bite you have a mouthful of 3.142.

Easter Bunny’s Hare Spray – This Easter Bunny lost his in-hair-itance!

A man was blissfully driving along the highway, when he saw the Easter Bunny hopping across the middle of the road. He swerved to avoid hitting the bunny, but unfortunately the rabbit jumped in front of his car and was hit. The basket of eggs went flying all over the place.

The driver, being a sensitive man as well as an animal lover, pulled over to the side of the road, and got out to see what had become of the bunny carrying the basket. Much to his dismay, the colorful bunny was dead. The driver felt guilty and began to cry.

A woman driving down the same highway saw the man crying on the side of the road and pulled over. She stepped out of her car and asked the man what was wrong.

“I feel terrible,” he explained, “I accidentally hit the Easter Bunny and killed it. There may not be an Easter because of me. What should I do?”

The woman told the man not to worry. She knew exactly what to do. She went to her car trunk, and pulled out a spray can. She walked over to the limp, dead bunny, and sprayed the entire contents of the can onto the little furry animal. Miraculously the Easter Bunny came back to life, jumped up, picked up the spilled eggs and candy, waved its paw at the two humans and hopped on down the road. 50 yards away the Easter Bunny stopped, turned around, waved and hopped on down the road another 50 yards, turned, waved, hopped another 50 yards and waved again!

The man was astonished. He said to the woman, “What in heaven’s name is in your spray can? What was it that you sprayed on the Easter Bunny?”

The woman turned the can around so that the man could read the label. It said:

“Hair spray. Restores life to dead hair. Adds permanent wave.”


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