Wow, the holidays seem to come much faster every year. I always like to get an early start on buying gifts on Christmas Eve morning. The crowds seem to be thinner that day for some reason. I don’t shop. I buy. Men learned how to shop through their hunting instincts. See something, shoot it or it could get away. See a gift, buy it.
Again, this year I have some easy purchase suggestions for men or the wife for that special someone in your life.
- “Hold On, Let Me Overthink This” tee shirt – For the decision making lady in your house. However she might just have to think about whether it’s funny or not.
- Dill Pickle Lip Balm – Satisfy pickle cravings and moisturize along with a subtle pickle aroma for your lady.
- Pull My Finger Santa – No explanation needed here. A fun gift for adult parties.
- Canned Reindeer Meat – packed in a spam-like party tin for guests. A tasteful gift for a short evening.
- The Talking Toilet Paper Holder – Why be bored to death? Program in favorite tunes or self-help programs. Listen to your favorite book. Why waste time in the bathroom? Learn while you have the time. Less than ten dollars and an actual toilet paper holder, this product also allows you to record a message that will play automatically when someone pulls the paper. It comes with an on and off switch, just in case the in-laws are over, and is easy to install. Anyone would be happy to receive this gift and it brings a smile to everyone’s face. It’s loud enough to be heard over the bathroom fan as well.
- Extreme Chores – This action-packed video game lets you recreate common household activities like raking, doing the dishes, and cleaning out the litter box. The program is designed to take off unwanted pounds while finishing up daily chores. The game actually lets you finish faster to prepare dinner.
- Curry Toothpaste – Here’s one for your boyfriend or husband who has funky breath no one dares to tell him about – a box set of 31 tubes of toothpaste for each day of the month. The set consists of exotic flavors such as Indian Curry, Kiwi Fruit, Bitter Chocolate, Cola, Mountain Dew, or Moonshine Monday that will ensure you won’t have to hold your breath the next time you meet up.
- Velcro Knife Throwing Set – Terrify your wife or husband by learning how to perform the most daring circus act in the safety of your own home. Place the Velcro targets around your friend and then…start knife throwing. The set comes with five plastic knives, three Velcro targets, and a pair of safety goggles for your petrified victim.
- Lead Juggling balls – Enjoy a new hobby while entertaining family and friends. This toy is designed for the quick learner. You only drop one and you become proficient very fast. Steel-toed accessory boots are extra with this gift. After two weeks of juggling, your man will develop either magnificent muscles or walk with a limp.
- Electric shock pen for writing checks – This neat little pocketbook edition for the little lady will adjust her purchase habits. The programmable pen will give a slight shock when a check is written over the programmed amount. Saves money and is a great investment.
- (Bonus Gift Idea) Stinky Foot Cream – Can also be purchased as a package with the Curry Toothpaste. A fun and very practical soothing minty foot cream for that “stinky feet” person in your life. Directions suggests only one application a month should do the trick. A fabulous gift that is actually a soothing luxury!
Bonus joke for after Christmas Dinner – A couple were Christmas shopping at the mall on Christmas Eve, and the mall was packed. As the wife walked through the mall she was surprised to look up and see her husband was nowhere around. She was quite upset because they had a lot to do. Because she was so worried, she called him on her mobile phone to ask him where he was.
In a calm voice, the husband said, “Honey, you remember the jewelry store we went into about 5 years ago – where you fell in love with that diamond necklace that we could not afford, and I told you that I would get it for you one day?”
The wife choked up, and started to cry. She said, “Yes, I remember that jewelry store.”
He said, “Well, I’m in the bar right next to it.”