Art and gas money


Compiled and partly written by Bill Derby, Publisher

A thief in Paris planned to steal some valuable paintings from the Louvre.

After careful planning, he got past security, stole the paintings, and made it safely to his van. However, he was captured only two blocks away when his van ran out of gas.

When asked how he could mastermind such a crime and then make such an obvious error, he replied, ‘Monsieur, that is the reason I stole the paintings.’

“I had no Monet to buy Degas to make the Van Gogh,” he replied.

See if you have De Gaulle to share this story with someone else. Don’t worry, you have nothing Toulouse.


Fun facts about the Human Body–The human body is a wonderful machine. 

This collection of human body facts will leave you wondering why we were designed the way were. I’ve added a few of my own responses.

• Scientists say the higher your I.Q. the more you dream. Does that include nightmares as well?

• You use 200 muscles to take one step. I wondered why I got so tired walking to the refrigerator during halftime.

• The average woman is five inches shorter than the average man. Not on the UT women’s basketball team!

• Your big toes have two bones each while the rest have three. Better to grip the tree limbs with I suppose.

• A pair of human feet contains 250,000 sweat glands. Eureka…that’s why they stink.

• A full bladder is roughly the size of a softball. Not so on long car trips, more like a basketball.

• The acid in your stomach is strong enough to dissolve razor blades.  Good, I will stop worrying.

• The human brain cell can hold five times as much information as the Encyclopedia Britannica. Not anymore. They quit publishing years ago.

• It takes the food seven seconds to get from your mouth to your stomach. But it only takes two seconds from the plate to the mouth.

• The average human dream lasts 2-3 seconds. No, nightmares last a whole hour.

• Blondes have more hair. Hair color determines how dense the hair on your head is. I already knew that from watching Dolly Parton sing.

• The strongest muscle in the human body is the tongue. And it can get you in trouble too!

• It is not possible to tickle yourself. Heck, I’m tickled right now….heee….heee….heee!

• There are about one trillion bacteria on each of your feet. Not on my big toe cause it only has two bones. There’s a good reason to keep your foot out of your mouth.

• Your body gives off enough heat in 30 minutes to bring half a gallon of water to a boil. Now I know why people catch on fire.

• The enamel in your teeth is the hardest substance in your body. No it’s not. Judy says it’s my head.

• When you are looking at someone you love, your pupils dilate, and they do the same when you are looking at someone you hate. The ‘Beatles’ told us that back in the 60s, ‘All You Need Is Love.’

• After eating too much, your hearing is less sharp. Another reason to eat at the dinner table and pay attention.

• For every pound of fat gained, you add seven miles of new blood vessels. Well, there’s another 70 miles I need to lose after my last check-up.

• Nerve impulses travel to and from the brain at speeds of up to 250 miles per hour, faster than a Formula 1 racecar. Not anymore. I’m driving a jalopy these days.

• Inside your belly button are thousands of bacteria that form an ecosystem the size of an entire rainforest. Shoot…I thought that was only lint in there.

• Some women see more colors than everyone else. Most people have three types of color receptors to see color vision, while some women have four or even five of these receptors and can see a wider range of colors. There you go. That’s why shopping was invented.

• From the age of thirty, humans gradually begin to shrink in size. This is hard to believe. Seems like it would be the opposite.

• Your thumb is the same length of your nose.

At this very moment I know full well you are putting this last fact to the test. Right?


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