By Bill Derby
I remember when I first heard my dad say a cuss word. His word referred to holding back a large body of water while he was driving in traffic. I wasn’t surprised about my dad but when I heard my mom say a bad word I was a little dismayed. She had pinched her finger working on a home project and yelped an expletive. She immediately apologized and probably didn’t think I knew what the word meant. I did. Hey, mom and dad were normal folks.
Since I had been trained in grammar school by older boys who regularly expressed four-letter descriptions, I had a pretty good vocabulary always careful not to use around adults.
Someone sent a list of alternative cuss words you all can use in public to express opinions or emotions. Please see below.
One note. These words don’t work on the golf course or while doing plumbing work at home.
When you are miffed:
• Shucks
• Rats
• Gosh
• Shizzle
• Toot
• Sheesh
• Flippin
• Phooey
• Ticked
• Heck
• Shoot
• Jeepers
• Geez
• Crud
• Dag
• Dang
• Darnit
• Booger
• Snot
• Wing Nut
• Nerts
• Crimeny
• Cripes
• Doo-Doo
• Caca
When you are exasperated:
• Good Gravy
• Good Grief
• Gadzooks
• Bull Snot
• Fiddle Faddle
• Fiddle Sticks
• Crud Muffin
• Jack Wagon
• Cotton Pickin’
• Malarkey
• Mylanta
• What the Hey
• Bucket head
• Shucky Darn
• Dad Burnit
• Dag Nabbit
• Con sarnit
• Confound It
• Doggonnit
• Dad Blame It
• Dad Gummit
• Dad Blast It
Son-of-a…
• Biscuit
• Biscuit Eater
• Bacon Bit
• Nutcracker
• Motherless Goat
Horse….
• Hockey
• Puckey
• Feathers
• Pitooty
For…
• Heaven’s Sake
• The Love of Pete
• Pete’s Sake
• Cryin’ Out Loud
I’m Not Having It…
• Great Googley Moogley
• Great Caesar’s Ghost
• Geeze Louise
• Mother Francis
Please close your mouth…
• Kiss My Grits
• Heavens To Betsy
• Bolshivik
• What The What?
• What The Devil?
• Rasa-Frasa-Rasa-Frasa
Jumpin Hehoshaphat….
• Booger Snot
• Mother-of-Pearl
• Bull Twinkies
• Gee Willikers
• Fahrvergnugen
• Shut the Front Door
