“My golf game is so bad this year, I had to have my ball retriever re-gripped….”


Compiled by Bill Derby

The weather is turning to fall with cooler days. Warm rays of sunshine filter through falling leaves. It’s my favorite time of year to play.

Below is a list of golfing quotes, truisms, and psychology for golf.

“I think that I shall never see, a hazard rougher than a tree. A tree that stands in silence there, while angry golfers rave and swear. Irons were made for fools like me who cannot ever miss a tree.”  (From A golf lover’s poem)

1. Golf is a game that needlessly prolongs the lives of our most useless citizens.

2. If you watch a game it’s fun. If you play it, it’s recreation. If you work at it, it’s golf.

3. Golf is a game where guts and blind devotion will always net you absolutely nothing but an ulcer.

4. The greatest liar in the world is the golfer who claims he plays the game for merely exercise.

5. Golf is a game whose aim it is to hit a very small ball into an even smaller hole with weapons singularly ill-designed for the purpose.

6. Golf is a game in which you yell ‘fore’, shoot six and write down five.

7. Golf is the hardest game in the world to play, and the easiest to cheat at.

8. I play with friends, but we don’t play friendly games.

9. Relax? How can anybody relax and play golf? You have to grip the club don’t you?

10. Competitive golf is played mainly on a five-and-a-half-inch course, the space between your ears.

11. The only shots you can be dead sure of are those you’ve had already.

12. Golf is not and has never has been a fair game.

13. I think I fail just a little bit less than everyone else. Jack N.

14. The harder you work, the luckier you get. Gary P.

15. Putts get real difficult the day they hand out the money. Lee T.

16. I’m in the woods so much I can tell you which plants are edible.

17. I’m not saying my golf game went bad, but if I grew tomatoes they would come up sliced.

18. I’m hitting the driver so good I gotta dial the operator for long distance after I hit it.

19. If there is any larceny in man, golf will bring it out.

20. Real golfers don’t cry when they line up their fourth putt.

21. In golf as in life, it’s the follow through that makes the difference.

22. Golf is a game where the ball lies poorly, and the players well.

23. The only reason I play golf is to bug my wife. She thinks I’m having fun.


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