According to Alfred, Lord Tennyson, the poet, springtime brings out the best in men as their thoughts turn to love. Of course this happens after March Madness.
Monday marked the first day of spring with the same number of daylight hours as darkness. Not sure what that has to do with love, but it’s officially spring and the season is open. Personally, I’m still trying to catch up on last week’s lost hour of sleep.
The experts agree that spring brings out the best in ‘amour. Bees are buzzing, birds singing and people falling in love. Love can actually be blamed on ‘dopamine,’ that stuff in your brain that makes you feel good and fuzzy, just like seeing a three-pointer shot from 45 feet. The word ‘dopamine’ comes from ‘dope’ which sometimes is confused with glue and the word, ‘mine,’ which indicates ownership.
“I was a real dope for thinking that beautiful girl was mine,” explained the jilted young man. In this case the young man was sniffing glue and hallucinating.
Scientists also believe if a young man ever gets the chance to put a smacker on his date, the kiss could help his chances. They say male saliva has trace amounts of testosterone in it which is known to boost the sex drive. So guys if you get a chance, lay one of those sloppy, slobber knockers on your date and see what happens.
Take that gal on a date to the bowling alley and when she makes a strike, try laying one of those juicy lip locks on that babe.
Below are other love-related random thoughts floating out there in space waiting to be hacked someday.
First Date: At the end of their first date, a young man takes his favorite girl home. Emboldened by the night, he decides to try for that important first kiss.
With an air of confidence, he leans with his hand against the wall and, smiling, he says to her, “Darling, how ‘bout a goodnight kiss?”
Horrified, she replies, “Are you mad? My parents will see us!”
“Oh come on! Who’s gonna see us at this hour?”
“No, please. Can you imagine if we get caught?”
“Oh come on, there’s nobody around, they’re all sleeping!”
“No way. It’s just too risky!”
“Oh please, please, I like you so much!!”
“No, no, and no. I like you too, but I just can’t!”
“Oh yes you can. Please?”
“NO, no. I just can’t.”
“Pleeeeease?…”
Out of the blue, the porch light goes on, and the girl’s sister shows up in her pajamas, hair disheveled. In a sleepy voice the sister says: “Dad says to go ahead and give him a kiss. Or I can do it. Or if need be, he’ll come down himself and do it. But for crying out loud tell him to take his hand off the intercom button!”
Another First Date: A young man called his mother and announced excitedly that he had just met the woman of his dreams. Now what should he do?
His mother had an idea, “Why don’t you send her flowers, and on the card invite her to your place for a home-cooked meal?”
He thought this was a great strategy and arranged a date for a week later. His mother called the day after the big date to see how things had gone.
“The evening was a disaster,” he moaned.
“Why, what happened?” asked his mother.
“Oh, she came over, but she refused to cook.”
– You know that tingly little feeling you get when you like someone? That’s your common sense leaving your body.
– Relationships are a lot like algebra. Have you ever looked at your X and wondered Y?
– If I ever need a heart transplant, I’d want my ex’s. It’s never been used.’
– Why is it everything I love is either unhealthy, addicting or has multiple restraining orders against me?
– I have never understood why women love cats. Cats are independent, they don’t listen, they don’t come in when you call, they like to stay out all night, and when they’re home they like to be left alone and sleep. In other words, every quality that women hate in a man, they love in a cat.
– Do you know what it means to come home to a man who’ll give you a little love, a little affection, a little tenderness? It means you’re in the wrong house.
– I wish the girls who rejected me in high school could see how many Pokémon I’ve caught.
– Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
Evolution- A child asked his father, “How were people born?”
So his father said, “Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies became adults and made babies, and so on.”
The child then went to his mother, asked her the same question and she told him, “We were monkeys then we evolved to become like we are now.”
The child ran back to his father and said, “You lied to me!”
His father replied, “No, your mom was talking about her side of the family.”
A young lady visited a computer dating service and requested, “I’m looking for a spouse. Can you please help me to find a suitable one?”
The matchmaker said, “What exactly are you looking for?”
“Well, let me see. Needs to be good looking, polite, humorous, sporty, knowledgeable, good at singing and dancing. Willing to accompany me the whole day at home during my leisure hour if I don’t go out. Be able to tell me interesting stories when I need a companion for conversation and be silent when I want to rest.”
The matchmaker entered the information into the computer and, in a matter of moments, handed the results to the woman.
The results read, “Buy a television.”
